AS is for all babies, bedtime has become quite the trauma in my life, but hopefully not in Georgia's. Some nights she goes to bed so well and so peacefully and other nights she throws a holy fit. So , being the responsible mother I am, I sent Matt out to the library to get me the 2 formost books on baby sleep habits. So I plow through them yesterday only to find that they are the polar oposites in theroy. One has a methodical way to teach your baby to sleep and includes a fair amount of crying. The other one says to nurture your baby, sometimes causing much sacrifice to the parents.
Now I have no problem with they way my baby sleeps. She sleeps well and occationally wants to eat and I can handle that. It is the going to bed that she hates. Why is that? What in her tiny brain knows that it is time for bed and fights it? She will fall asleep for naps, no problem. But the final nap of the day, bedtime, is her sworn enemy.
So tell me internet world, do I let my sweet precious baby cry in hopes of teaching her how to fall asleep alone (Ferber) or do I nuture and teach her how to fall asleep with comfort and caring while sacrificing time with my husband and my own sleep (Sears)?
3 comments:
What a dilemna. It is so hard to know what to do. I think your bathtime routine has certainly been great. Does she like the baby lullaby tapes? I know you will decide what is best for you, Matt and Georgia. Sweetdreams.
Love, Nanue
Ferber, as you know, worked for me. I only wish I had done it earlier than at eight months. My thought is this, and keep in mind that everyone truly is different -- if you really are having trouble with her now, and you think you're going to end up letting her cry it out, I would suggest getting that done sooner than later. Maybe not tonight, maybe not next week -- but don't wait like I did.
Or pretend your baby is like Oklahoma weather, and that it'll change in 15 minutes.
-- bob
p.s. Not to make this my own blog entry, but I think I typically take harder stance with Vivian on a lot of things, and having spent a lot of time with a lot of parents and kids lately, I feel I can safely say this: the nicest kids I've been around are the ones whose parents are tough on them. Not mean, but strict. You know. Like our parents were. Rules are rules, and they start early. The punishment for breaking them is swift and severe, and bedtime is no exception. I'm not saying you should beat her, but you want her to know early that while you love her (as demonstrated by the way you hold, her feed her, smile at her, play with her) when Momma says it's bedtime, it's bedtime. And just because you cry, you don't get your way.
She cries because every time she cries, you come. And then you act. It's not just because she has a desperate need anymore. It's because she's learned her first behavior -- crying bring Momma (and then food, care, etc.)
OK, I'll shut up. But you asked.
Most important is that you do what feels right to you and you don't raise a brat. If you can make those two meet, then you're a better parent than most.
It is getting better and we are trying some new stuff. Right now my gut tells me I don't have what it takes to let her cry it out. We have been going about bed time wrong and I am learning if its broke, fix it. I have a child and I have no problem with spending some time getting her to bed, I just hate that she crys and I never even leave her. She just crys. I've read Ferber and I've read Sears. The part where Ferber looses me is when he says "And if your child should cry hard enough she thhrows up..." Hold the dam phone. No child of mine is going to cry so hard she throws up. Not yet anyway. Talk to me again in 2 months.
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